Help! What is Ethical About Polyamory?
In this context, ethical is the umbrella term whilst consent and responsibility fall under this. By general consensus, ripe timing and my own personal opinion, it seems that the More Than Two...
View ArticleHelp! Am I a Cheater or Am I Polyamorous?
Either way, it is only your choices to be ethical and responsible or not, which will differentiate your actions between cheating and polyamory.
View ArticleHelp! My Boyfriend and His Primary GF Are Falling Apart
You have a position in the triad where it will be easier to fall into the position of ‘rescuer’ or ‘persecutor’.
View ArticleHelp! How do I let my crush know that my marriage is non-monogamous?
I'm happy for you experiencing intense crushes, there really is nothing like them! But from a biological standpoint it's a whole bunch of hormones rushing round your body... namely adrenalin and...
View ArticleWhy saying ‘Fuck Yes’ Is Impossible for the Emotionally Blind
Some people will rarely experience that hopping up and down to have sex. Some people will never feel a 'fuck yes' about anything. They will make their decisions based on past experience and educated...
View ArticleRelationship Fluidity Instead of Relationship Anarchy
After months of reflection, I also have grave doubts about appropriating the term relationship anarchy even though the principles outlined in the short manifesto by Andie Nordgren suit my relationship...
View ArticleForget-Me-Nots
So quite simply, one of the answers to the question 'Why do we love?' is 'Because we are loved.' It’s far easier to love someone back if they love and admire us. We shimmer in love, we bloom and we...
View ArticleHow to Start Using Your Privilege by a Cis-White Woman
To learn on one hand that I have perpetuated systemic oppressive behaviours, and on the other having to face those who have been oppressed and who are angry at me for doing so makes me want to shield...
View ArticleAnd so the Abused, Becomes the Abuser
Yet emotional abuse is incredibly damaging, perhaps in part because it cannot be recognised and dealt with in the same way. Emotional abuse gets swept under the carpet because it is supported and...
View ArticleThe Surprising Upsides of an Atrocious Memory
As a child my memory was rewritten time and again--first by my mother who tried to erase who I was to serve her own narcissistic needs, and then as an adult by an abusive ex (ditto). At twelve years...
View ArticleMurder By Curettage
I don’t remember them killing my baby because they put an IV in my arm and told me to count backwards from ten. And by the time I'd hit seven, I was asleep on the good stuff. But I knew from the...
View ArticleAre Open Relationships on the Rise Just for the Hell of it?
Longevity, geographical mobility and the decline in traditional religious beliefs are reasons commonly given for the perceived upswing in open non-monogamy. Yet these reasons don't explain anything but...
View ArticleTorn Between Two Worlds and Ableist Language Shaming
Experience inadequacy and confusion when you go out, try to grapple with vastly different public transport systems, inadvertently miss bill payments because the sheer volume of foreign administrative...
View ArticleSchrodinger’s Child
That evening I got home, Maya was laid up with a belly bug. One of those hideous ones which repeat endlessly and which necessitate the washing of sheets, scrubbing of sick, showering of small infants...
View ArticleWhy Is There No Unicorn Hunting in Sweden?
All this history has left a legacy in the personality of a Swede. They are more likely to believe in consensus decision making. They are more likely to be highly suspicious of so called democratic...
View ArticleHelp! How do I deal with Sexual Fantasies About My Mother?
My advice in all cases is to look at your experiences separately in order to better trace their impacts, before aggregating them to see how they interplay.
View ArticleA Pragmatic Approach to Polyamory and Parenthood
Polyamory also allowed me to spread emotional risk. Long time practitioners of polyamory would be appalled by this--they call it the 'training wheels' mentality and it objectifies others. They're...
View Article